Crones Don't White by Jean Shinoda Bolen, M

Although Bolen's new book contains "concentrated wisdom for juicy women," she does include a chapter on how exceptional men can be crones (more about that later), so, gentlemen, don't stop reading. She also includes "precrones." Now they have something for which they can plan and to which they can look forward. It's a gentle kind of "listen to your elders" thing [my words, not Bolen's], for "If we acquire a crone's-eye view, then we will see ourselves and other from the perspective of soul rather than ego," says Bolen.

Bolen playfully offers thirteen qualities for a crone to cultivate in order to remain vibrant, true to herself, express what she knows, and not numb her mind—in other words, to remain "juicy." The thirteen crone qualities, which Bolen thinks are "intangible qualities having to do with soul," include:

Each of the thirteen characteristics are followed by a chapter essay elaborating on the quality. The task of the "culmination" phase of one's life becomes that of desiring, and learning how, to cultivate these qualities. Although some of Bolen's advice is not new, the witty, humorous, and gentle way in which she presents it certainly is. Crones don't whine because whining is not living in, and enjoying, the present, but rather assumes you are entitled to a life different from the one you have. "Whining is conduct unbecoming a crone." In my mind I see a group of crones, proudly carrying signs that bear the thirteen characteristics. No, we are not whining; we are announcing.

Gardening for Bolen is both a literal term and a metaphor. Although you may not be an actual physical gardener, or even care to be one, the crone's green thumb comes into play in the sense that crones are in the "generative phase of life." They foster and nurture growth.

While crones may have been clueless about some of the happenings of their earlier lives, they now can trust the instincts that have developed as a result of their many experiences. No regrets there, but rather a gleaning of the essence of the experiences and, by seeing it from the perspective of later years, transforming it into a new consciousness, and the need and desire to make more responsible, intuitive choices.

Such wisdom and new perspective are often accompanied by a fierce compassion for the suffering of others and a dedication—and new voice—to exposing and changing social injustices and wrongdoings. Superficial social conversation may now begin to recede into the background as speaking the truth and soul values become more important, even necessary. A friend of mine calls this being "soulcentric."

I think one of the "smartest" things Bolen says is that "most crones could define their lives as an improvised work in process. Wherever they are at this moment in their lives was not a planned destination" [italics mine]. Nevertheless, cronedom is a time when women can discover and enjoy new interests, letting go of those phases of their lives, which no longer work or matter. "Crones are connoisseurs of life's good moments."

And now a word to those exceptional men with possibilities, as I promised above. For these men, characteristics such as power, domination, and lack of compassion are either not prevalent in their way of life, or have been examined and found to no longer be of value. They are able to acknowledge their vulnerability, their tenderness, the fortunate possibilities that relationships offer them, and to want to nurture an inner life. On the man "who is motivated and sustained by love rather than power," Bolen, and crones everywhere can unite to bestow the honored title of crone.

Because crones know the unpredictability of each day's events, Bolen offers us a final phrase to live by: "I wonder what is going to happen next?" What ripples of influence will roll our way, and what ripples will we send out in return? Happy rippling to you all.

Crones Don't Whine (ISBN 1-57324-912-2) is published by Conari Press, a division of Red Wheel/Weiser and is available in bookstores.

Sandra A. Thomson is a California licensed psychologist (inactive) and marriage, family, and child counselor (inactive). She is the co-author of the Lovers’ Tarot, Spiritual Tarot, and The Heart of the Tarot. She is also the author of Cloud Nine: A Dreamer’s Dictionary and Pictures from the Heart, a tarot dictionary. She is president of the American Tarot Association, and secretary of Phoenix Rising Tarot, Inc., a non-profit organization. She can be reached at robt_sandra@earthlink.net.

Reviewed by Sandra A. Thomson